


Message for the Dead

by Dylan Mischa Letacis (stereotypicalunicorn)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Crying, Dan leaves Phil messages, Death, Depressed!Dan, Existential Crisis, I'm so sorry, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, One Shot, Phil dies, Phone Calls, Sad, Sad!Dan, Sadness, another really horrible fic, dead, depressed, existentialcrisis!Dan, kinda fluffy though, messages, voice mail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 08:12:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6510052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stereotypicalunicorn/pseuds/Dylan%20Mischa%20Letacis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Phil dies, a devastated Dan calls to leave Phil a voice message on his cell phone. There's a few things he wants to get off his chest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Message for the Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is really similar to the fic I published here last week, except the endings are quite different. Heh. I also wrote this one at like 2 am, directly after I wrote the other one, so I was even more tired at this point. Anyways, this really isn't too bad in terms of crying (the other one is really sad though, would not recommend).   
> Disclaimer: The following work is a work of fiction. I do not own any characters mentioned in this story. All similarities to any real events are merely a coincidence. I am not achieving financial or any other personal gain by publishing this work.  
> Rated Teen for sadness and generally devastating stuff.  
>  Enjoy!

Dan Howell was having an existential crisis.

Again.

Phil was gone. 

Dan was alone, cold, weak, depressed, and in a permanent stage of existential crisis. There was no getting out of this one.

During the past week, Dan had managed to get less sleep, eat more, cry more, and lay on his special patch of carpet in the hallway reserved specifically for lying on during existential crises more than he had ever thought possible.

All because of Phil.  
Dan wasn’t sure whether he regretted it all or not. Skyping Phil, meeting Phil, becoming Phil’s best friend, moving in with Phil, loving Phil…

If none of those things had happened, Dan would probably be okay.

If none of those things had happened, Dan never would have started YouTube.

If none of those things had happened, Dan never would have had all the great times he had had in the past 6 years.

If none of those things had happened, his world wouldn’t be lying in the floor in shambles.

Dan picked up his phone and dialed Phil’s number.

He already knew he wouldn’t answer.

He listened to Phil’s voicemail. Just the sound of his voice brought tears to Dan’s eyes.

He waited for the beep.

He swallowed. He didn’t know what to say.“Hi, Phil…” Well that was a pathetic start, “I know you won’t ever get to hear this. But I, ah, wanted to pretend like I could talk to you. Just one last time. Anyway-“ His voice cracked as the tears finally all came flooding out. “Phil, I miss you so much, more than you could ever imagine, more than anything I’ve ever missed before.” In his emotional state, he lost his articulate speaking style for a moment. “God, Phil, I don’t even know what to do with my life and I can’t function and I don’t think I will ever find my way again, and I will never be over you, and God, if only I could’ve kissed you, held you, looked into your eyes, seen your smile one last time, I would do anything. Truly anything.”

He almost regained his composure. “Phil, my love, I miss you more than anything. I hope that one day I will see you again, although you know I don’t believe in those types of things.”

He sniffled. “Goodbye, Phil. I wish that I had said that before.”

He held the phone against his chest. “I still love you.” he whispered. “I have always loved you.”

Dan didn’t hang up. He sniffled into his pillow until he finally fell asleep. He only wished that Phil could be there on the other end of the line. But he wasn’t and he never would be again.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd appreciate feedback, although I do cringe reading this... (it's from about 9 months ago.) Thanks for reading!


End file.
